The skinny:
While Samus does take her ass-kicking show back to the planet of Zebes, Zero actually predates the original Metroid in the timeline of the franchise. You’ll recognize the classic spacesuit, bosses and creatures from the series’ NES debut, only now Samus has more maneuvers and weapons at her disposal. Morph Ball your way through tiny cracks and crevices, and use the Power Grip to cling to ledges like a little computer-generated Tobey Maguire or, say, Fred Durst dangling from a meat hook. The Mother Brain is back, but now you also have to contend with space pirates trying to capture the local fauna for use as biological weapons. For the most part, though, it’s still an action-based platform jumper interspersed with puzzle elements and a surprise ending, which Nintendo compares to The Crying Game (which, coincidentally, we saw in the theater with our mother). Thanks for bringing it up. Good times.

If you liked this game, you’d like:
Boktai, Justice League Chronicles, making your own arm cannon out of Legos and wondering what you’re doing home alone on the weekends.

Hours to complete:
The burn rate is pretty quick even by GBA standards. If you’re not careful, you’ll be done in a couple of hours.

Tantalizing tidbits:
As with most classic Nintendo Entertainment System to Game Boy Advance resurrections, the latest version looks far better on the GBA’s tiny screen than it did in the past. Another milestone for science! The game play is fairly brisk and the obligatory cut scenes are brief and well rendered—it looks like a classic Iron Man comic rather than schlocky animation. And that’s a good thing…the brief part at least. We don’t give a rat’s ass about Iron Man. Real men read Thor. Now, if you’ll excuse us; it’s time for our pedicures.

Buy, rent or run away screaming?
Certainly worth picking up for your next coast-to-coast flight.