The skinny:
For those raised in caves, under rocks and Idaho militia compounds, here's a little Madden background: It's one of the best football sports sims ever made, now get back in your hole! The amount of detail put into this game, now in its 15th year, has been astounding for the past few years and is now creeping up on ludicrous. Last year Hot Routes was the main innovation; this time it's all about the D. The new Hit Stick function lets you go for bone-shattering tackles. For control freaks, you're two button clicks away from pinching down the defensive line, reassigning a safety to double down on your opponent's primary receiver or bringing all your DBs into bump-and-run coverage. The only things EA left out are a THG steroid upgrade and a button combo that makes your star running back throw away untold millions so he can smoke some reefer and eat Cheetos!

If you liked this game, you'd like:
NCAA Football 2005; ESPN NFL 2K5; referring to your fantasy football team as the sweet, sweet puppets destined to bear you on a gilded litter to interoffice glory

Hours to complete:
Once you get sucked into Franchise Mode, you very well might not make it out.

Tantalizing tidbits:
Sports talk guru Tony Bruno appears as a voice in some of the secondary modes of play and in Storyline Central, a news simulation that documents your progress in Franchise Mode. You can't actually see all the journalists hitting the complimentary bar, but you know they are. There are a few weird little hiccups in the game. On running plays that call for pulling guards or tackles, everyone on the offensive line stays at home. The Ask Madden feature, which allows John-boy to pick a play for you to run, is not always consistent. The Madden-bot might suggest an HB Slam, and if a team calls a timeout or some stoppage occurs, he is just as likely to suggest a tight end option pass or deep outs. Nothing earth shattering, just a little strange. With so many options from linebacker audibles to hot routes, you'll need to spend an hour or two in training camp to learn every nuance of the game. Dress up your stuffed animals as little football players, call them rookies and make them sing for you. Then hide your stuffed animals. It's football season.

Buy, rent or run away screaming?
Buy before you're the last one on the planet without it.