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COMEDY [ Print Script ]

Starlet is a foreign exchange student conducting her introductory interview with the high school principal. She's very unfamiliar with America's strict rules in high school. She also is unaware of how much the principal is drooling over her.

Starlet: Hello, I am Ivana Balzlik, and I would like study in your American high school. I can no think of better way to learn how is U.S. most powerful nation than by spend time in your fine educational system.

[Principal murmurs acknowledgement]

Thank God I get away from school at home, where is only horny teenage boys looking to take my advantage. What, just because I am ski team captain with killer legs, I am dumb and easy?

[Principal responds quizzically]

Also, teachers are not any helpful. They only ask hard questions and smack you on behind with yardstick when you are wrong.

[Principal shifts uncomfortably]

Here in America, I ready to focus on study and nothing else. By the way, how is dress code at your school? I learn most best when I am completely comfortable, and not wearing any constricting, how is say, undergarments?

[Principal gulps]

Hmmm…I might make you a problem there. I do not own any knee-length skirts, and the shirts I bring from home only display my tight, toned and tanned midriff.

[Principal acknowledges, slack-jawed]

Oh, what is such good luck for me that you already have school-approved outfit for me. I will make change of my clothes here in your office. Let me get started by taking my shirt off—

[Principal faints]

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