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DRAMA [ Print Script ]

Starlet is speaking into the camera, telling the person who changed her life how much he means to her.

Starlet: [Dramatically, to no one in particular] Dear God…how much must one woman bleed before knowing what it means to heal? Now I understand what pain the Jews, the slaves and the Kennedys endured. [Sigh] Sometimes I wonder if it's worth living at all [pauses, turns toward camera] and then I think of you.

[Sigh, sniffle, regroup]

Without you, I never would have summoned the courage to go on… not after my parents split amicably…not after my Starbucks gift card ran out …and definitely not after I went over my cell phone minutes. But then, like the outstretched hand of God, you entered my life and turned it all around…

[Sniffle, deep breath]

I'd always been told that pimpin' ain't easy, but you certainly made it look that way. You taught me my worth, right down to each specific body part. Now, as your number-one girl, I have more cash and men in my life than I ever dreamed possible. After three failed marriages, eight estranged children and one helluva crack addiction, I'm ready to make something of my life. Look out, world, here I come!

[Triumphant leap into the air]



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